The player
The position
The notes
The face
Position:
DOB:
Age:
Weight:
Found on the pitch:
John Bateson
Usually on a push bike or somewhere in the backs
Position: Fullback, Fly-half
DOB:
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch:
Seasons Aim:
Graham Beckford
Hooker, back row
Nickname: Beaky
Position: Hooker, Back row
DOB:
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch:
Seasons Aim:
Chris Beddow
Back
Nickname: Flora
Position: Scrum-half, Centre
DOB: 11th December 1959, so that makes me ……………….YOUNGER THAN RIK!
Age:
Weight: You’ll have to, cos I’ve not been training
Found on the Pitch: Only if you let me on, but picking up the balls
Darey can’t reach
Seasons Aim: To meet the Belgian Chocolate Twins!
Surf dude and near full time winner of the Man-Love trophy
Nickname: Wow, look at Rob
breaking tackles for fun! / Schmooo
Position: Have tried them all and found none that suit, let's try
Prop.
DOB: 5th May 1925 (Oil of Olay, my personal sponsor...twice a day!)
Age: is just a number
Weight: has recently become a problem....16 stone on the hoof!
Found on the Pitch: debating whether football may have been a safer
choice this season!
Seasons Aim: World Peace and a stop to Famine and Poverty, otherwise
just to survive the tour as a VIRGIN and not have to share a room with
Jonty, I cannot be responsible for my actions!
Position: Where I'm told to play
DOB: 16.03.78
Age: 30
Weight: 15st ish
Seasons Aim: To play a whole game
Will Cleare
Nickname: Will, Oi or Noo-Daddy
(just made that one up…quite catchy though, may keep it?)
Position: Centre or Untenable - depending on how the hands have
been working!
DOB: 18th January 1974 – that’s right Matt, I even make you look
old!
Age:
Weight: 15st 9ilbs (was 16st 4lbs until a few weeks ago so training
is paying off)
Height: 6ft 2in
Inside Leg: 23”
Waist: 38”
Chest: 42 A
Found on the Pitch: swearing at myself for missing another tackle/pass
(delete as applicable)
Seasons Aim: Apart from working out if being Noo-Daddy
(yep definitely got a ring to it) will balance with rugby commitments,
to score a legitimate try this season to add to the fine knocked-on-but-allowed
effort in the last game of last season
Beauty tips: ensure at least one member of squad/team
(delete squad if reading this after first 2 games) has brought enough
moisturiser to go around and save Jonty the embarrassment of having to
ask again…ONE TEAM BOYS!
Position:
DOB:
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch:
Seasons Aim:
Position:
DOB:
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch:
Seasons Aim:
Nickname: Psycho
Position: Back row
DOB: ?
Age: ??
Weight:
Found on the pitch: Being
given a yellow card
Seasons Aim:
Position:
DOB:
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch:
Seasons Aim:
Carl Goodey
Back row
Nickname:ZigZag
Position:Addenbrooke's / Desk
DOB:Irrelevant... "i am not
a number"
Age:As young as i feel...
Weight:Settling into a comfortable
30's waistline
Found on the Pitch:Apologising
for another penalty
Seasons Aim:To cause excruciating
pain to the creators of The BBC's 'Hole in the Wall'
'Sir' to his friends
Jay(son) Hall
Wing/back row
Nickname: Come on boys what
are they?
Position: 0pposite side of the pitch to jonty
DOB: 05/07/81
Age:
Weight: lightest renegade?? 76 kg
Found on the Pitch:
Seasons Aim: ????????no injuries!!
Position: Flanker (Well that's where Rik's put me!) and 71% of its true!
DOB: 27th August 1976
Reason for retirement: Now rowing too much to risk playing.
Other information: May still tour with us.
Position:
DOB:
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch:
Seasons Aim:
Daray Horn
Fly Half
Nickname: "D"
Position: Fly-Half
DOB:
Age: 34
Weight: 95kg
Found on the Pitch: Screaming
at the scrum-half
Seasons Aim: 5 drop goals
Position:
DOB:
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch:
Seasons Aim:
Chris Milne
Back row
Nickname: The Glove
Position: Back Row
DOB: 19/10/1984
Age: 25.
Weight: Finally hit the 80kg mark.
Found on the Pitch: In the air or on face down in the mud usually
one straight after the other.
Seasons Aim: To better each no7 I come up against.
Position: Back/Wing
DOB: 17/03/1978
Age: 30
Weight: 11 st
Found on the pitch:I try to be where i am supposed to be????
Seasons Aim:Running fast enough to catch the ball before it touches the ground and learning all the rugby rules. Its my first time playing rugby ever so please bear with me...
Nickname: Bill Bob, Billy Bob, Butter fingers,
etc?
Position: Wing (trying to
keep warm waiting for the forwards to let the ball out ? waiting for Godot),
or full-back
DOB: Lost in the mists of time
Age: Half way to ninety
Weight: Need more for rugby and less for the rest
of my life
Found on the pitch: Perfecting
my favourite move ? the panic- stricken kick to touch
Seasons Aim: Not to crack any ribs and to play my
best game for Renegades this season (and not against Renegades for some
other team I have been lent to)
Nickname:
Position: Utility prop
DOB: 25/03/1978
Age: 31
Weight: 20.7 st
Found on the pitch: Trailing the breakdown less
and less every game
Seasons Aim: To get to the breakdown
Position: Lock
DOB: 07/02/1961
Age: 47
Weight: 100Kg
Found on the pitch: 10 yards behind where I ought to be!
Seasons Aim: Get within 5 yards behind where I ought to be.
Relando Pesci
Wherever he can cause mayhem
Nickname:
Position:
DOB:
Reason for retirement:
Other information:
Ren Pesci
Back row
Position: Back Row, Hooker
DOB: Far too young.
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch: Diving into the action. Hands in a ruck or hooking against the head!
Seasons Aim: To make as many games as possible, assuming the garden doesn't need weeding or the dog needs walking.
Matt Price
Second row
Position: 2nd Row
DOB: 13th July 1971 …..Yeah you old Bastards that makes me a young, fit and virile 36
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch: Gasping for Air, Lifting the Glove or Lock, or sniffing Rik’s arse in a scrum
Seasons Aim: To get my visits to A&E’s down to six trips, not get injured by Jonty and to Hit Scrum half’s even harder
Rik Relph
Front row, second row, father of the team (Old Bastard), President of Renegades Rugby Union Football Club.
Nickname:
Position: Front Row
DOB: 1958
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch:
Seasons Aim:
Aging gracefully as he descends from the dizzy heights of Aylesbury (or somewhere) RUFC
Position:
DOB:
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch:
Seasons Aim:
Position:
DOB:
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch:
Seasons Aim:
Ritz Steytler
Back row
Nickname: Ritzie
Position: Backrow
DOB: 28 August 1979
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch: Hopefully where the ball is otherwise lying
where I last fell gasping for breath or keeping the backs company
Seasons Aim: To get through the season uninjured and get fitter
to play a better game
Position: I don’t know yet but I hope it’s on the pitch
DOB: 5/12/77
Age: 29
Weight: 87 Kg
Found on the pitch: on the wrong end of the opposition after “The Glove” has given them some attention
Position: Back
DOB:
Age:
Weight:
Found on the pitch:
Sam Vail
Front row, second row
Position: Front Row
DOB: 1967
Age:41
Weight:120KG
Found on the Pitch: 10 yards behind the action or hanging on the wing (my mental position)
Seasons Aim: To score a try and to appear in every single Match Report!
Position:
DOB:
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch:
Seasons Aim:
Position: Somewhere
DOB:
Age:
Weight:
Found on the pitch:
Nickname: Nick tends to call me Colin
Position: Back-row / Backs
DOB: Nice try. Sometime in the Winter
Age: 34
Weight: 85kg (we have gone metric)
Found on the pitch: Found,
but hopefully not caught
Seasons Aim: To play more back-row, and try and
keep up with glove
Position:
DOB:
Age:
Weight:
Found on the Pitch:
Seasons Aim:
